Pre-enlistment thoughts

Its nonsense.
2 years is no joke.
My mind is so skeptical, so ironic.
Conscription, singapore bounded responsibilty for every male.
Worse for a man who have so many emotional attachment out in the civilian world.
Whatever.
I had a great time spending the few days left out here.
My photos tells it all. :)
Exciting would be the results after the test of time.
What happens now doesn't matter, its the process moulding me towards the future worth looking for.

Army
A place where we males create our own unique life story
A place where we males become true man
A place where we males learn unity, endurance and respect
A place where, i want to see how true this is

The end of the WRX days.
Wonderful vehicle. An classic example of perfect engineering made purely to create waves of adrenaline rush.
Its going off as well.
Marking a new phrase of my life.

Its time to learn to live like a man.
Its time to behave like a man.
Its time to think like a man.

Nothing else matters now, i have to keep reminding myself. :)

My mind is in such a mess right now
Entwined like a DNA helix
Complications so intense it reeks sanity out of me.
As where have those things i preached went to?
Is the world as simple as i imagined and hope it would be?

Embrace the reality.
Adaption is never a easy process.
The more careful i try to be, the more careless i become.
Atrocious, horrendous, whatever we can call it, and yes, i'm entirely feeling that right now.
And you know what's more irritating?
Is that everything i learnt, listen, read, analysed, crashes with each other.
So much so that i cannot find a suitable conclusion to anything. Anything at all.

You can't fill a cup that is already full.
And my cup is so full right now, its been blended with all sort of concretion that now,
It amounts to nothing.
A hybrid of everthing is sick.
Imagine a creature with a human heart, robot head, lion arms and gorilla legs?
That is how my mind is structured now.

Love

"Love is patient, love is kind, Love does not insist on its own way. Love bears all things, believes all things, Hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails." - I Corinthians 13:4-8
This particular verse in the bible caught my attention. I remember posting something rather similar when i was telling God that i will be patient with waiting for the right one.
Its when afterwards, tons of blessing start pouring, etc( having a WRX to drive, finding someone i loved).
Many had happened during that one year after i gained those blessing. Example, she left, but WRX is still with me.:)
That is not the point i'm looking at.
Point is, how much do people understand love? Put away all those BGR mentality if you can.
Lets talk about Love is general.( family love, brotherly love, friendship love, etc.)
How much does the world understand about "love"?
Its seems to get dimmer.
Many had forgotten what love actually defined as.
In my context, Love begins with an sacrifice.
There is a saying " You can give without loving, but you cant love without giving".
Just how great love can be?
I'm sure you heard of stories of parents sacrificing for their children or wife suffering for their husbands.
I remember those times, when we were together.
Though all is over, and we have individually moved on with our life, I wish you the best.
You gave me a wonderful last year.
Now when i view through the photos of the past, its flashes nothing but a smile. No more hard feelings nor regrets.
It had already become just a part of my life, a part of my memory.

Let the past be memories live in the present, let the future be something we anticipate for.
The past mistake be the lessons for the future.
Because of the past you had given me, i can live the future better.

11 march 2010

Living life to the fullest is all that matters.
No matter what injustice the world or anyone has done to you,
All that matters is your decision whether or not to wear that smile.
For there is much more in this world worth more of your attention, and celebration.

I lived through, still smiling. No matter who comes in or leaves my life.
I saw the colours of the chameleon flushing through brinks of my skin,
smiting through the vein with vengence and anger of which i cannot explain.
For the very least, they detach the venomous fungus spouting harmlessly from below,
Preventing calamities from further occuring.

I feel no pain, nor any remorse or regrets.
Branches which does not bear fruit are to be cut away and casted into fire.
I seek no further, but to embrace myself in the love of those who care.

Confidence, the immediate supplement to feeling good.

Its been busy weeks. I'm not joking.

Good and bad, all went through.

Whatever.:)


Confidence, what is it exactly?


In dictionary, it cited as "belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance"


Belief in oneself. Belief in self worth.
I'm not talking about those that are just up for show.
Nor those that are just plain cockyness, those without considerations of one's limit.
I meant those that are unspoken, those that can been seen without body language, with our actions and decision. Those that makes you ending with rational decisions. Those that as you carry that confidence, people can sense you when you are coming.
Here's a fact. If you don have confidence in yourself, you will not have a good self-esteem
And if you don have a good self esteem, you will never find happiness.
You understand that?
"We are born princes"
Have that basic respect for yourself and give yourself that opportunity to feel good about yourself. No matter what kind of background you are, you deserve to love yourself and no one has control over it unless you allow them to. Trust me. Your days are well off without those self depleting mindset. So stop dwelling in self pity and enjoy the good things about yourself.

How did i even deprive to this whole principle about confidence?
Here's my story.
My previous esteem crusher was the breakup.
I lost total confidence and i felt extremely diffcult to move on.
I kept asking myself why. Was so stuck at it at that time that i felt, i needed to do something. That completely isn't me. I'm not created into these world to get stuck in this shit.
I begin reading, understanding and observing.
I created this blog just for this. To pen down all that i learnt and observe and grow from it.
And after all these months i realise the past was all so drama.
I REALLY MEAN DRAMA.
I can do so much better. And i'm doing so much better now. And best of all i'm much stronger.
No longer like the past, and i make absolute sure it stays this way.

Here's one thing interesting i gain from my research.
In my attempt to learn about myself, i learnt about others as well.
I begin to be able to understand and realise why people do and say things the way they did, why some people are more respectable than others.
So much so then i can see the level of the person's thinking just by the things they speak about.
Its interesting isn't it?
All thanks to that break up. Seriously i wouldn't have learnt and grow so much.
And unlike the past, i smile everyday, i sleep smiling. I recover from negative emotions much quickly.
I live a life that is more adventurous than the past. I do things that others thought was just way too much for a young man to do.
Life isn't about the amount of breath you take. Its about moments that takes your breaths away.:)

Create an Abundance Mentality

I've been busy, and yes its challenging to frame my thoughts into something i consider, worthy to be written and remembered.
Here's one thing i been wondering over the past few days. Lets begin with two questions.
Have you ever come across someone who is rich but is never happy?
Or someone who is rather poor but live life of his own paradise? So much so that you admire his life?
Alright, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying staying poor makes you happy. It sure doesn't. We are all worthy to be rich and happy.
The contrast i'm trying to bring here is,
The Mentality.
Lets call the rich man "A" and poor man "B".
Or maybe if you already have the two person you in our mind know of even better. It will illustrate a even clearer picture.
Lets look at the random things they will say. Or if possible visualize these 2 person and recall the things they will say.
See the difference??
"A" is a complain king or if not a show off, attention seeker, or you can never see him satisfied with anything.
"B", however is someone who smiles and grateful about what he have. And you will do realise you are rather attracted to this person. He thinks differently and speaks of positivity to almost every situation.
Its the mind.
"A" are usually the narrow minder while "B" thinks in Abundance.
Now look, your mind frames your world. How you choose the way to see things will ultimately decide the feeling and emotions attached to it. Now let me tell you. Its not an easy thing. The best way i had realise to adopt to a broader mind is smiling. Everytime things happen, smile. It can be ironical, but trust me. Smile is free, and its the first step of intent of positivity.

Perception of our value

Now i myself was astounded by this while flipping through the pages of Paul Mckenna's book today. Here's story to begin with.
"In the early 1970s, a record label in Britain was selling albums containing cover versions of comtemporary songs. Although the records sold for less than $2 a copy, hardly anyone bought them and the record company was suffering.
A whiz kid joined the board and announce he wanted to more than double the price of the records. The other executives were shocked but eventually agreed to his plan. Within a few weeks, the records were flying off the shelves. When the records didnt cost much, people didnt value them. the record company was saved by redefining people's perception of the value of their product."
An extract from Paul Mckenna's "Change your life in seven days"
Now here is something shocking i have learnt.
THE WORLD SEES U JUST AS THE WAY U SEE YOU ARE.
People responds to that. Ur behaviour, body language and the way ur thoughts flow exhibits that very clearly to people. Just as the way u see yourself unconsciously, people will also unconsciously treat you the same way. Trust me, i have experimented it and proven to be true. Now here is another of my favourite quote
"We are born princes, and the civilzing process makes us into frogs."
-Eric Berne
We are made for success. God firmly say it in the Bible in Genesis 1:26-28
Then God said," Let's us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over the creatures that moves along the ground."

So God created man in his own image,
In the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them

God bless them and said to them, " Be fruitful and increase in numbersl; feel the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground"
Genesis 1:26-28(NIV)
When God created mankind we made for dominance, leadership and power. We are made to be special. Male or Female alike.
However, like what Eric Berne said, "civilizing process makes us into frogs"
Why so exactly??
Here's the truth. Every baby born is like a new CPU with an empty storage memory. Everything we do now is taught and practice along the way. Like learning to walk, speak, feel emotions. Its true.
I remember clearly there was a kid brought up by wolfs, this man apparently ended up behaving and thinking he is one when he was found.
So how does Eric Berne's quote relate to this?
Our self image is build up the same way as well. We end up believing and applying what people comment about us and unconsciously allowed it to become part of our self image.( Like for example, ur parent constantly remind you that you are stupid and u end up believing you are)
NOW STOP!!!!!
Its time to rebuke that nonsensical part of you that hinders your life!
Ok. here's a problem. I can't share openly what is in the book due to copyright laws.
But, all i can say it.
CHANGE THE VALUE YOU SEE YOURSELF AS, IF YOU EVER WANT TO CHANGE YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES.